Week 2 - Intuition
"Once a long time ago, at the beginning of time and space. There were two Angels walking alongside each other on a path wide as far as their sight could reach. Nothing hiding their view. One of the Angels had colorful feathers, beautiful as a peacock. The other one had white feathers, beautiful as a cloud on a sunny day.
As they were walking, the Angel with the white feathers had a thought. One of many. From experience, it knew that it couldn’t speak its naked mind. The Angel with the colorful feathers was difficult to talk to unless the Angel was mentioned. Spoken highly of. The Angel with the white feathers has tried many different ways to share its thoughts. It wasn’t easy and after many days of walking, not a living being in sight, it had to find a way.
The white feathered Angel thus created an idea from its thought, it started with a question about the Angel with the colorful feathers. “Why, did you choose all these different colors to your feathers?” To which it replied, “When I was asked what color I wanted, I couldn’t simply decide, time wasn’t on my side, thus I chose the entire spectrum so that I wouldn’t regret my choice.”
“Why did you chose that one color?” asked the Angel with the colorful feathers.
“It was a gut feeling that lead me to this color. Usually, when I close my eyes, all I see is black or red if I’m gazing at the moon or the sun with closed eyes. I had a feeling that my body knew what color it wanted, so I closed my eyes and for the first time, I saw the color white.” replied the Angel with the white feathers.
“Do you always trust your body? Have you asked mother wisdom if what you’re doing is wise?” Asked the Angel with the colorful feathers.
"Indeed I did, I asked her,
Oh, mother of wisdom, the wisest of them all I’m wandering around wondering if the body knows what I know before I know it to be true.
I didn't receive a reply in words or a language known to me from her, just a gentle smile on her face, so affectionate I smiled as well. What do you think? Do you think the body knows it before the mind ?" Replied the Angel with the white feathers.
"I don't think so. I strongly believe in the nature of an Angel, the ones told by the most affluent and noble Angels of the past and present. I rather use their wisdom as guidance." Uttered the Angel with the colorful feathers.
The Angel with the white feathers was yet again shot down before it ever uttered its thought, by the Angel with the colorful feathers. They kept walking silently. " - A thought
This piece above was written on my 3rd try at a 16-week of being mindful. I struggled to define what intuition meant to me. What its value was. I decided to fast for the first 5 days. I knew what fasting meant to me. Fasting is to restrict my desires or abstain from certain things. I know there are so many individuals telling teaching the world how to fast the right way. There's no one that knows what's going in your mind. What you yourself value as truth. This was the reason I wanted to fast, I wanted to study my gut feeling, my intuition.
I have learned a great deal about my body and my gut feeling, I have always trusted my gut feeling above anything else. There's always been a voice in my head saying "it's OK". It's distinct and unique from the usual voice in my head. It's calm and assures me that there's nothing to worry about and that I just should go ahead, at times run the other way, and sometimes leave it be.
When my mind is 100% of anything, I know I'm heading the wrong way. That's intuition. You take the jump unknowing. This doesn't mean you should jump off cliffs to prove me wrong, you have to be rational and mindful about your actions. Listen to your gut, learn it's language. That's what week 2 is about. Finding out for yourself. Don't read anything about intuition or gut feeling, understand it on your own. You can read about it as much as you like after the week has concluded. Trust me on this, the value of understanding the truth on your own, with what you've got is priceless.
My fast was quite simple, I decided to stay away from anything I could chew on for 48h; this meant I was allowed to drink any tea I wanted, smoothies and even alcohol if I wanted to. Then I followed my intuition whenever I had a desire. My fast lasted for 5 days, I only drank herbal tea and water. I meditated for 3-4 hours a day. I work as an English teacher in Vietnam 3 hours in the evening, for 7 days a week. I could afford to meditate 3-4 hours. It's ok if you don't have the possibility. All you need to do is to remind yourself to meditate on it during any given break.
When I started the 16-week program my first condition was to keep it a secret from people. I have decided not to talk about my challenges to anyone. Don't talk about your week challenge with anyone, there's no need for others to know what you are working on, there are people out there that have far too many limits and thus will greatly affect you with there negative thinking. Just keep it to yourself. Even about the fast. I do have many people I dearly care about, I wouldn't jeopardize.
These are the few questions and framed thoughts I've encountered on my 3rd try on week 2.
"Am I wrong to do the right things for the wrong reasons? Am I wrong to think of the possible but evil?"
"How much of a crazy man is crazy if he speaks your mind, your hearts language?"
"Love strangles those it loves dearly, I rather not be loved. To be loved is a burden only rivaled by loving someone. Those I've loved have known the least of me if told the truth their worries would worry me. Loving no one but yourself is a coward's way out. You see, there are people so scared of problem nr2 that they never attempt to solve problem nr 1. They know the truth. Life never throws single shots it's full of combos and step-ins. Every solution is a new beginning. Every beginning is a new problem to be solved."
There are times when we have to sit down and listen to our worried mind, there are also times at which we need external data to find solution to the mind's troubles. Learn when to apply these two different strategies. It's not easy, but you have to, otherwise, you'll confuse your body all the way to anxiety and depression.